3 PRAYERS AND SOME BUGS

There are two prayers I have made

And then a third – 

There are the ones I see answered

This is where I look for fireflies

For moments where under trees

After maghrib

After mama yells come in the house

Because good souls shouldn’t be out in the vulnerable moment of dusk

Fireflies, lighting for a moment,

Letting you know 

of their presence

So I made a prayer and then I was sent the fireflies

Or maybe I made the prayer because I can see them

Not everyone can see them I am learning

Not everyone sees the threads that connect us

Or understands that effect is the child of cause 

First I asked for sisters

I have a mother

But then a father and 2 blood brothers

Arhum the fair one 

Yusuf the beautiful one

And then more with some blood or no blood

Or just light

And these men shaped me

In their performance

Of protection

Of humility 

But I didn’t see that then,

Just that I didn’t have sisters

Who know about what it takes

To have a soft heart

And men don’t often see fireflies 

Second 

I asked for softness

Because I sat in the masjid

And saw my mother cry for me

And I could not shed a tear for anyone

Because I did not understand

How love could be so unconditional was given sisters

And I was given softness

And now I make the third prayer

But how I can I ask for so much

Sisters that taught me how to love myself

That I deserve more

And that gold is always in

And that will do my hair

And pray for me 

And sisters who see fireflies

After the brothers did not

And I became soft

And fluid

And was given a pen

And a voice

And the blessing and curse

That sometimes when I say things

People might listen to me

And that I can cry in prayer 

At least for my grandmothers

So now I ask 

Humbly

For resilience 

I ask I stay this way

That I remain protected as I always have been

That I thrive while being tested

That I strive towards my liberation

That my liberation is always based

In the cleansing of my soul

There are two prayers I have made

And then a third – 

First for sisters, 

Then for softness

And now for resilience

And this is the firefly 

And you are all fireflies 

And maghrib has passed

And we are in this home

And you are bound to me 

Beautifully, beautifully bound to me.