Wednesday, March 11, 2015

3 PRAYERS AND SOME BUGS

There are two prayers I have made
And then a third – 
There are the ones I see answered
This is where I look for fireflies
For moments where under trees
After maghrib
After mama yells come in the house
Because good souls shouldn’t be out in the vulnerable moment of dusk
Fireflies, lighting for a moment,
Letting you know 
of their presence

So I made a prayer and then I was sent the fireflies
Or maybe I made the prayer because I can see them
Not everyone can see them I am learning
Not everyone sees the threads that connect us
Or understands that effect is the child of cause 

First I asked for sisters
I have a mother
But then a father and 2 blood brothers
Arhum the fair one 
Yusuf the beautiful one
And then more with some blood or no blood
Or just light
And these men shaped me
In their performance
Of protection
Of humility 


But I didn’t see that then,
Just that I didn’t have sisters
Who know about what it takes
To have a soft heart
And men don’t often see fireflies 

Second 
I asked for softness
Because I sat in the masjid
And saw my mother cry for me
And I could not shed a tear for anyone
Because I did not understand
How love could be so unconditional was given sisters
And I was given softness

And now I make the third prayer
But how I can I ask for so much
Sisters that taught me how to love myself
That I deserve more
And that gold is always in
And that will do my hair
And pray for me 
And sisters who see fireflies
After the brothers did not

And I became soft
And fluid
And was given a pen
And a voice
And the blessing and curse
That sometimes when I say things
People might listen to me
And that I can cry in prayer 
At least for my grandmothers

So now I ask 
Humbly
For resilience 
I ask I stay this way
That I remain protected as I always have been
That I thrive while being tested
That I strive towards my liberation
That my liberation is always based
In the cleansing of my soul

There are two prayers I have made
And then a third – 
First for sisters, 
Then for softness
And now for resilience
And this is the firefly 
And you are all fireflies 
And maghrib has passed
And we are in this home
And you are bound to me 

Beautifully, beautifully bound to me. 

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